How to have a good time with scammers on the Internet

I’ve been advertising on several online marketplaces lately in order to sell my car. And so far I’ve received quite a few mails of people doing me an offer. Most of them are such low offers that they can’t even be considered for getting the front tires.

But next to all those worthless offers, there are some interesting and somewhat valuable offers I have received. And I would like to take this opportunity to share one of them in specific with you.

I received this mail:

Beste Mister Tom, is this car still available for sale?

To which I responded that it was.
Then Mr. Potato (I slightly changed his name for legitimate use in this post) send me another mail:

Thanks so much for your email Am quite okay with your item and i would like to know the best price,Please how neat is the body condition.

Thanks and Best Regards

Mr. Potato must be an educated man I figured. Since he started the first mail with a Dutch salutation, followed by a question in proper English. And because he wrote his second mail in Zimbabwe – English, combined with old English due to the absence of punctuation marks (they didn’t had computers with punctuation marks in the old days) I have to say that I am impressed!

But I am not an idiot, I’ve read some articles on the internet about scams. So I am sending Mr. Potato a mail just to make sure he’s not trying to pull off some sort of scam.

Dear Mr. Collins,

Is this the kind of story you are planning to pull of?
“Thanks for your response. I will be adding the 3.9% PayPal surcharge to the total amount i will be paying you. So i will be paying directly into your PayPal account without any delay, and i hope you have a PayPal account.If you have one already, just send me the address to send it to, which is the email address you use for it or you can send me a PayPal money request, so once i receive the details i will go ahead with the payment through PayPal and then i will contact my shipping company after you get the payment. I will need your home address for the merchandise to be Picked Up by the Shipping Company.”

Because I am really excited to make this happen!

Best regards,

It’s an easy ‘yes – or – no’ question, right? So his response will confirm the genuineness of his basis of which he is willing to buy. Very soon after a new mail appeared in my mailbox, Mr. Potato again! His answer to my question:

What is the exact price for it?

Well, that sorts things out! His honest answer and clear call for action confirmed the genuineness of his interest in the car. This man is willing to do anything to get his hands on my car. Completely understandable, I am selling a beautiful car here. I responded:

Dear Mr. Collins,

The exact price is € 12.050,-
But you sound nice, so you can buy it for € 11.999,-

Is this oke with you?

Best regards,

The asking price I am mentioning in the mail is only 10 times as much I’ve put the car on sale for online. I am making Mr. Potato a good offer. And since he seems to be a nice fellow I even give him some discount. Let’s see how Mr. Potato thinks about this:

Thanks for your response.I’m satisfied with the condition of it and Agree with the price.So i will be paying directly into your PayPal account without any delay. Get back to me with the details below :

Name:
PayPal Email address:
Cell Phone No.:
Total Cost of it:

Or you can send me a paypal money request, so once i receive the details i will go ahead with the payment through PayPal and if you don’t have an account with paypal, its pretty easy, safe and secured to open one. Just log on to www.paypal.com and register with them. I hope we can make the purchase as fast as possible and then i will contact my shipping company after you get the payment. I will need your home address for the it to be Picked Up by the Shipping Company..

Thanks and best regards.

I can’t recall me mentioning any details about the condition of the car, but eh, I do forget things sometimes. Like birthdays, names of people and things my mom asks me to do. So I probably forgot that I mentioned the condition of the car earlier on in the conversation.

I really like the fact that Mr. Potato has sorted things out for me and that he’s explaining me the easiest way to get it done. He truly is a nice man to do business with.

But wait, what asking price did I suggest in the previous mail? I totally forget to mention the Boyzone CD-collection that comes with the car. Let’s set that record straight and send him a mail with the right asking price:

Oh wait!

I made a mistake, I meant €120.005,-.
If this is still oke, I would like to hear from you!

Best regards,

Voila, problem fixed. I am thrilled, and Mr. Potato obviously is as well. He got back to me with this mail:

OKAY

Thanks for your response.I’m satisfied with the condition of it and Agree with the price.So i will be paying directly into your PayPal account without any delay. Get back to me with the details below :

Name:
PayPal Email address:
Cell Phone No.:
Total Cost of it:

Or you can send me a paypal money request, so once i receive the details i will go ahead with the payment through PayPal and if you don’t have an account with paypal, its pretty easy, safe and secured to open one. Just log on to www.paypal.com and register with them. I hope we can make the purchase as fast as possible and then i will contact my shipping company after you get the payment. I will need your home address for the it to be Picked Up by the Shipping Company..

Thanks and best regards.

Oh my god! I sold my car to an educated man which name refers to the most delicious food in the world! This is the best day of my life! Cruise around the world and pineapple-cocktails: here I come! Lets complete the transaction:

YES YES YES!!!

Let’s get this fixed!

Transfer the money in 40 bags of €20,- bills spread over a period of 3 weeks.
I will give you the exact locations:

– 51.637717,4.788233, 4PM, next sunday
– 73.726595,-6.738288, 5PM, the week after tuesday
– 80.356995,35.800774, 6PM, the week after the week after tuesday on monday
– 40.712996,-74.013244, 7PM, the week after this all, saturday

Come alone. I will be awaiting you in a pink bunny suit in my Escalade!

Thank you so much!
Hear from you soon.

Best regards,

I’ve seen this in movies a lot of times, so I’m positive this the right way to get the job done. Let’s see if Mr. Potato agrees with me:

Oh i see you are new about all this. You don’t have to wait for any 2-3 days.As soon as you send me your PayPal email i will make the payment and you will be notify in your email that the payment have been made.Very easy.For example my PayPal email is ( markcollins1009@gmail.com ), So send me your PayPal email now so i can pay in.

Await your response..

Ok, I get the point he is making. But then I want my own helicopter to secure the transaction of the car personally. I think Mr. Potato understands, we are getting really close. I will share some personal interests to create an even stronger bond with him:

Is it that easy?

Then you have to pay €6.950.000,-, because I have to make a new account!
I hope this is not a problem?

I love unicorns btw!

His response:

I understand your plight but its like you are not getting my point and i will explain better to you, my account is a premium account so i can transfer any amount without any problem, moreover i have my pay pal account attached to my bank account so once i send the money it will reflect directly into your bank account, pay pal will send you a confirmation email to your pay pal email address to notify you that your payment is made and you can go to your bank to cash the money once so i hope you understand me now.

Regards

Hmm. It seems like Mr. Potato is in hurry and is not getting my point. Let’s show my gratitude for our friendship one last time:

I totally misunderstood!

I thought you wanted to be my friend, because of you were saying you wanted to be my pal. I am so disappointed.

Thank you for your all your knowledge and strength. You are a hero.

Thanks FRIEND!
YOU ARE MY FRIEND!

Best regards,
Armen von Bürzen

After this mail Mr. Potato continued talking about pay pal and how I needed to make an account in order to get his money. And to be honest with you, that’s not the kind of conversation I like to have with a friend. So I decided to get some time for myself and give our relationship a rest.

Caution
If you are in a similar situation make sure you know what you are doing. Do research on the internet and educate yourself on how these scams work and what danger it brings with it.

Always remember you are coping with criminals. So don’t push it. Although it may be very tempting to see how far you can go, it is best if you don’t. The best thing to do is to ignore the scammers completely and delete the e-mails they send you. The less information they get from you the better. They will stop contacting as soon as they are not getting back from you.

You may have lost a potential friend, but you prevented losing your money!

email